When Love Leaves Can It Ever Come Back?
by EmRosey
Summary: OLD .Written for a compettion in one of the fanfic forums! Skate Jate Charie. Sawyer & Kate are best friends but then he dissapears, 5 years later Jack & Kate are together, but when Sawyer comes back will it all change? Please read and review! Complete!
1. Friendship & Future

**_So, the reason for this story is a competion in on of the forums between me and a few other skaters, we got a jater to set the guidelines for a challenge and the challenge was a fanfic story, but it had to incule certain things. So if your reading this now from the forum, I hope you like it!! And also I hope everyone else enjoys it too!_**

**_Set off island, nothing to do with the show, just my own little fic!_**

* * *

"C'mon Kate, it'll be fun" Claire said, her eyes shinning as she pulled her towards a star sign reading house. 

"Yeah fun for some old crazy lady to tell me ill find true love in Rome" Kate said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey I happen to believe in star signs" Claire said, looking slightly hurt.

"I'm sorry Claire" Kate said quickly "One reading if it makes you happier ok?"

"Yay" She squealed excitedly, dragging Kate inside.

Inside the room was surprisingly normal for Kate, she had expected velvet table clothes, crystal balls, old women in gypsy skirts. But all that greeted her was a middle aged man sat at a table with a bunch of tarot cards.

"Hi Claire" he said warmly "How's it going?"

"Good thanks" She said, sitting down "You?"

"I'm ok thanks" He said, shuffling his cards "So usual reading today Claire?"

"Actually it's for my friend today" She said, pointing to Kate "C'mon Kate, she's a bit nervous, she doesn't really believe in this"

"Ah another non believer eh?" He said "We'll soon make you see wont we Claire" He said nodding at Claire who laughed.

"Sit down, now what's your star sign Kate?" He said as Kate sat down in the chair beside Claire.

"Gemini" She said quietly.

"Well we'll just shuffle you up a deck here and see what you get" he said, dealing around a bunch of cards.

"Pick three of these" He said, fanning some cards out to Kate, she pointed at three and he laid them on the table.

"Uh… Well young lady your in for an exciting time" He said "You will be in an accident at an important time in a friends life, but don't worry everything will be fine, it will cause a few problems, there will be an argument with someone you care for, but it will all work out eventually and you will decided upon the one you love when he is wearing red" He said seriously, but then seeing the bewildered look on Kate's face he laughed and said "And for all you believed of that I may as well have told you the sky was pink right?" He laughed jollily "Don't worry young Kate, you will be back"

* * *

About half an hour later Kate and Claire emerged back into the street after Claire had her fortune read again. 

"Why do you believe that anyway Claire?" Kate asked her as they stopped in Starbucks for a coffee. "I mean, he just says anything doesn't he?"

"Well I was never sure about it myself until one day my friend dragged me along" She said, swirling her spoon around in the cup "But he gave me some news that turned out to be rather true, and everything he predicted ever since has gone right." She smiled.

"What news?" Kate asked interested.

"He told me that I would meet the man I loved when he was doing what he loved most" She said "I met Charlie when he was playing his guitar, and there's no doubt he loves that best. He also told me that if Aaron was raised by anyone but me it would be dangerous, that's why I kept him, and i've never been happier."

Kate smiled at her friend, she was so lucky, she had everything. She had a man that loved her and cared for her, she had a little boy called Aaron, he was her world. She had the perfect life that Kate just couldn't seem to get, however hard she tried.

"Speaking of Charlie" Kate said grinning "How's it going with you two?"

"Great" Claire gabbled happily "He wants to take me out to dinner on Saturday, so I was wondering if you would mind Aaron for me?"

"Sure" Kate said, Aaron was one of the cutest little babies Kate had ever seen, she loved her turns to take care of him.

"Never mind my love life" Claire said, turning the tables on her friend "Anything more with you and Jack?"

"Well, the other night he told me that he loved me" Kate almost whispered. "But I don't know if I can, I don't know if I feel the same way about him, I know I should, he's smart, cute, a doctor, but I don't know, when i'm with him there's something holding me back, I think I might love him too"

"Oh Kate" Claire said "He told you he loved you, that's so sweet"

"I know" Kate said "I don't know how I feel, sometimes I think I love him back, but I'm not sure"

"Well why don't you wait and see?" Claire said "There's no rush is there?"

"You know what Claire" Kate said "I think I just might"

* * *

The pair sat in silence for a while, their thoughts drifting to different places, and when they had both drank up the time had come to go home. 

"Ill drop Aaron of at yours around half 6 on Saturday?" Claire asked Kate.

"Ill look forward to it" Kate smiled "See you later Claire"

"Bye Kate" Claire replied, giving her friend a hug before they both headed home.


	2. Babysitting Bothers

**_Just a warning! Flashbacks are in italics! thanks!_**

* * *

"Hey Kate!" Claire squealed, stepping into her flat on the Saturday night.

"Hey Claire, Aaron!" He said, looking down at the tiny baby in her arms "Hey Charlie" She said to the man who had followed Claire.

"Hi Kate" He said smiling "How's it going?"

"Good thanks" She replied "You?"

"Great" he said "Thanks for looking after turnip head"

"What have I told you about calling him that?" Claire said, only half joking.

"Sorry love" He said "It's just the name ya know? It stuck" He said, smiling dumbly.

"Its no problem" Kate said "I can take him anytime"

"Thanks again Kate" Claire said "We'll see you around… 11?"

"That's fine" Kate said, taking Aaron from his mum and his bags from Charlie.

"Give us a twirl then Claire" Kate said as Claire spun around, her gorgeous blue dress floated up slightly "You look beautiful" She smiled at her friend.

"Thanks" She said "See you later, Bye Aaron!" She said, waving at the baby now in Kate's arms.

Kate watched as the couple walked down the path, Kate felt a stab of jealousy Charlie slipped his hand around Claire waist, they looked so happy, and that was all Kate wanted, to be happy with a man she loved.

* * *

Aaron gurgled cutely in Kate's arms as she tickled his chin, Kate smiled down at the happy baby, he was no doubt one of the cutest things Kate had ever seen. Just then the phone rang, so Kate set Aaron down in his baby carrier and went to answer it. 

"Hello?" She said.

"Hey Kate, its Jack" A male voice said.

"Oh hey Jack" She said, slightly nervous after their previous meeting.

"_Thanks for the ride home Jack" Kate said, it had been a long day and Jack had picked her up from work. _

"It's no problem Kate, anytime" He smiled, just happy to be around her.

"_Ill catch you later" She said, reaching for the door handle._

_Jack's mind raced, when she called for a lift home, he swore that he would tell her that day, but know she was leaving and he hadn't, he was letting the chance of letting her know how he felt slip away once again. He reached his hand to the door lock and pressed it, he was going to tell her, and he was going to tell her now._

"_Damn doors locked" Kate said, she obviously didn't notice Jack reach for the door lock button, or hear the click as they locked._

"_I know" Jack said simply._

_Kate was a little scared at the weird way Jack replied, but she just carried on like he hadn't said anything "Could you unlock it please?" She asked._

"_I'm afraid I can't" He replied. _

"Why?" Kate said, a strange feeling of fear swirling around inside her.

"_Because there's something I need to tell you" He said, speaking calmly, his expression never changing, his eyes staring blankly, his voice on one level "And whenever I try to tell you, whenever I get close to you, you always run, and I've tired to understand Kate, but I cant anymore its killing me, I need to tell you. I need to tell you that I care, a lot. Well I more than care, I love you" He said, his expression finally softened, his eyes staring caringly, his voice barely a whisper, all on those last three words._

_Kate sat in a shocked silence, Jack had kind of been right, because right now all she wanted to do was get out of this car, run from him, run from his feelings, and run from herself. As he sat there, waiting for some sort of reply, Kate's mind raced, did she love him? Every time she had found herself thinking she might, something inside her told her it was wrong, like there was something calling her back, something she had to wait for. She didn't know what or who this was and it scared her. She stared just as blankly as Jack had before, her eyes not showing the thoughts all rushing through her head. _

_  
Finally the silence broke with a small click, Jack had opened the doors. Without saying anything Kate pushed her door open wildly and ran from the car. She ran until she got to her front door, her hands fumbling on the small key ring looking for the right one, she didn't dare look back in fear of what was behind her. She pushed the key into the lock and ran inside, she slammed the door shut and fell against it. And then, she cried._

"I was just calling to say that i'm sorry" He said "Sorry about locking you in the car last night, I had no right, I just wanted to tell you Kate, to let my feelings out before you ran again"

"Its ok Jack" She said, pleased he wasn't angry, but still scared.

"But its not" He said sadly "It's not ok at all, because you don't love me too"

"I don't know what I think" Kate said truthfully "I care Jack, I really do. But I don't know if I love you, every time I get close to someone, it goes so wrong, but everything's goes so right with you…"

"So what's the problem then?" Jack said.

"It's just…" Kate didn't know how to say it, should she lie? Should she put the phone down, run like she had all those times before? No, he deserved the truth "I just feel like there's something holding me back, something i've got to wait for, something or someone I don't know what, it comes near every time I feel something for you. And I can't stop it Jack, as much as I want to, I've got to wait and see what it is my heart wants me to wait for. I think I love you too, but I have to wait"

"Ok Kate" Jack said, not knowing whether to be hurt that she didn't love him, relieved that she cared, mainly Jack was just confused, but he still understood. "I understand, ill talk to you later."

"Bye Jack" Kate said, as the dialling tone sounded.

Kate looked over once again at Aaron, who was now sleeping, so peaceful unaware of the world going on around him.

"Just wait till you grow up" Kate said, looking down on the tiny baby "You're in for one bumpy ride"

* * *

Meanwhile Charlie and Claire had eaten their meal and were now taking a walk along the deck, Charlie had taken her to a sea front restaurant, near the club they first met. 

When they reached the point Charlie was waiting for he dropped behind, pretending to tie his shoe, Claire went ahead, but the turned round to see where he had gone.

Claire gasped at the sight behind her…


	3. A Proposal & The Unexpected

**_Thanks SassyLostie & Bonboni for always reviewing! Anyone else out there reading, I'd really appriciate some reviews!_**

* * *

Charlie was down on one knee, holding out a tiny ring box with one of the most breathtakingly beautiful diamond rings Claire had ever seen inside.

"Claire, I brought you out here tonight because I wanted to ask you something special, in a special place. Claire, will you please marry me?" He asked, with a cute smile on his face.

Claire ran up to him and gave him the biggest hug she had ever given, she finished it off with a small kiss on his lips and broke away smiling.

"So was that a yes or a no?" Charlie laughed.

"Yes Charlie" She beamed "I will marry you"

* * *

About half 11 came a knock on Kate's door, she picked up Aaron and headed to answer it. Outside where an extremely happy Claire, and if possible, and even happier Charlie. 

"Kate! I'm sorry were late, its just well tonight we went for a walk and Charlie asked me to marry him!" She gushed, showing Kate the delicate ring on her finger.

"Oh my god Claire!" Kate squealed "That's brilliant! Congratulations, and to you too Charlie" She smiled.

"I'm just glad she said yes" Charlie beamed "Me Claire and turnip head-" Charlie stopped seeing the look Claire shot him "I mean Aaron, we can be a proper family now" he beamed.

"That's great" Kate said "I'm so happy for all of you"

"So how has he been?" Claire said, she had been itching to ask about Aaron ever since they arrived.

"Fine, he slept most of the time" Kate said, handing him and his things over to Charlie and Claire. "See you guys later"

"Bye Kate" Claire said, she still couldn't stop smiling. "Ill ring you sometime soon, we have to go out!"

"Good" Kate said "Bye Aaron!" She added, waving at the tiny baby before the three people left her doorstep and got into the car, Kate's smiled melted as she shut the door behind her, and a tear fell from her eye. Why did everyone's life but hers go so right?

* * *

Three weeks later Kate, Claire and their other friend Shannon where at Kate's house. It was the night before Claire's wedding to Charlie, it had all happened very fast, but they just felt so happy they didn't want to wait. 

"So how are you feeling?" Kate asked Claire.

"Nervous" She replied softly.

"It's ok" Shannon said understandingly "That's exactly how I felt before I married Sayid, but everything turned out ok" she smiled at the memory.

"I know, I just can't help worrying" Claire said. She Kate and Shannon had decided not to go out on a real hen night, but just all sleep over at Kate's flat ready for the next morning.

"I'm sure it will be fine" Kate smiled "I mean, you love Charlie and he loves you, what could possibly go wrong?"

"I'm sure your right" Claire smiled. "So anything more happened with you and Jack"

"You know what" Kate said finally smiling about this topic "I think I've realised I do love him"

"Awww!" Claire said "What about something to wait for?" Claire said, remembering their conversation before.

"Well I still feel there might be, but I still feel like I might love Jack" Kate said, finally feeling her life might be going right.

* * *

"I'm so proud of you baby bro!" Liam, Charlie's older brother said as he walked through the door. 

"Thanks Liam" he said "This is Jack by the way, Jack this is my brother Liam"

"Hey" Jack said in greeting.

"Hey" Liam said back "So how you feeling about tomorrow baby bro?" Liam asked as they sat down on the sofa with a can of beer each.

"Worried" Charlie said "I mean what if something goes wrong? What if she doesn't come? What if-"

"Hey calm down there baby bro!" Liam shouted "I had about a hundred more what ifs than you when I married but were fine now, and there's no reason why you and Claire cant be"

"Thanks Liam" Charlie said "I know, I do i'm just worried"

"The more you worry the worse it will be" Jack said. "Just calm down and everything will be fine"

"I know" Charlie said for what felt like the thousandth time that evening "I know"

* * *

"Oh god Claire, you look amazing!" Kate said as Claire entered the front room the next morning, Claire's wedding day. 

"Thanks" She blushed, she wore a long white gown that fitted tight and strapless around the top and flowed down freely once it left her hips.

"I can't agree more, you look totally fab!" Shannon said, bringing in hers and Kate's bridesmaid dresses.

"You two better get changed now" Claire said "And then hair and make up, god I sound so organised!"

"You always are" Kate laughed before heading into her room to get changed.

She pulled the dress out of the dry cleaners bag and laid it out on her bed. It was blue in a similar style to Claire's except it didn't flow out as much as hers did. She picked the dress up carefully and slipped into it. She looked over in the full length mirror in the corner of the room and studied her reflection.

Kate hardly ever wore dresses, she had never been a girly sort of girl, but she had to say that she thought this one looked nice. It fitted her perfectly and she smiled as she gave a little twirl before heading back out to the room Claire was waiting in.

"Wow you two look great!" Claire said happily as Shannon and Kate came into the room in their matching bridesmaid dresses.

"Thanks" Kate said.

"But I always do" Shannon added joking.

"Right let's fix your hair" Kate said, sitting Claire down in front of the mirror she had set up on the table.

"Damn I forgot the hair pins!" Shannon realised.

"Its ok" Kate said quickly "Ill run down to the shop on the corner, they've got everything"

"In your dress?" Shannon asked.

"Well we haven't got time for me to get changed again" Kate said "Ill just have to run, it will be ok" Kate said, slipping on some shoes and heading for the door.

"Don't ruin your dress!" Claire shouted after her.

Kate headed quickly down the street, not looking properly where she was going. She quickly got into the small store, found some hair grips and headed for the cash register.

"So what is this then?" The cashier asked flashing her a friendly grin "Fancy dress? Prom?"

"I'm my friends Bridesmaid actually" She laughed. "We forgot the hair pins"

"Oh right" He chucked, his job got weirder by the minute. "That's $0.99 please"

"Oh damn!" Kate said, she had forgotten to pick up some money.

"I guess bridesmaid dresses don't come with pockets huh?" He laughed, knowing what was wrong. "Don't worry, just take them. Hope your friend and you have a great day"

"Thanks" She smiled, picking up the box of hair pins and heading out of the shop.

Kate headed quickly off again and walked straight into someone.

"Oh I'm sorry! I wasn't looking where I was-" She stopped in mid apology after seeing who stood in front of her.

"Well well well, long time no see Freckles" Said the man, it was Sawyer.

* * *

_**Dun dun dunnnn! lol! Please review!**_


	4. Pasts

**_Next chap & Sawyers back huh??_**

* * *

Kate stood in shock at the sight in front of her. Sawyer. She hadn't seen him in years, but the day she last saw him was still as fresh in her memories as yesterday.

_It was the last day of college and Kate was heading home from the campus for the final time. _

"Hey Freckles" Sawyer shouted from his car "Wanna ride?"

"_Please!" She said thankfully, jumping into his car. Sawyer had always been Kate's friend, sometimes she had wondered if they could ever be more, she had always cared for him, and she had felt like she was falling in love, little did she know Sawyer felt the same, she was the only one who knew all his secrets, knew why he went by the nickname Sawyer, she knew his soul and he knew hers, they were perfect for each other but both to young and stubborn to see it._

"_So what you doing now college is out?" Sawyer asked her as they drove along._

"_Dunno" She replied "Get away from Wayne as soon as possible, but I don't wanna leave my mum"_

"_Ill always be here for ya Freckles" he said, suddenly serious._

"_Thank you" She said, smiling at him._

"_No problem at all Sweet Cheeks" He said, as they pulled up outside her home. "Ill catch ya later" _

"_Bye!" She said, getting out of the car reluctantly and going into her house._

_  
And that was the last time she ever saw Sawyer, until now._

"Why did you leave me?" She said, feeling tears in her eyes, years of pain that she had held inside came flooding back "The last thing you said to me was that you would always be there, and then you left me"

"I left ya a letter Freckles" he said, sadness clouding his face too.

Kate's memory skipped back once more as she remembered the day she got that letter.

_Kate went to Sawyer flat the next day, he had already got his own place, and stopped outside the door._

_She saw a note pinned to the door that read:_

_Freckles, use ya key._

_Wondering what it was all about Kate took the key he had given her from her pocket, the key he had let her have in case she ever needed to run from Wayne, and opened the door._

_The flat was pretty empty but she noticed a letter on the table in front of her which said Freckles in Sawyers bold writing. She opened the letter and read what was inside._

_Dear Freckles,_

_I couldn't tell ya were I was going, I couldn't say bye cause I was scared if I did I wouldn't be able to leave ya. And I know you won't like where i'm going, maybe one day I will see you again and I can tell you, I hope I will. By the way, you can keep this place for yourself, get away from Wayne like you wanted too._

_I hope I will because there's something I need to say to you that i've never said to any girl before, not properly anyway, and its something I felt for a long time. I wanted to say that I love you Katie, and I think I always will._

_Love, James_

_It had touched Kate deeply that he had used his real name on the letter, she was mixed with feelings, happiness because he had said he loved her, sadness that he had left her, fear that he would never come back, and hope that he would._

_She had kept that letter for so long it almost killed her, but it killed her even more she couldn't write back, and say those 3 little words back, words ever so important._

"I still didn't help me Sawyer" She said, a stray tear running down her cheek "Do you know how many nights I cried that you were gone? How many days I dint leave that flat just waiting for you to come back? I was so hurt that you left me Sawyer, and you didn't even tell me why"

"Ya think it was easy for me Kate?" He said angrily, sadness filling him too "Ya think it was easy to walk away, knowing how much id hurt ya if I did? How much id hate myself for it?"

"You didn't even tell me why" Kate whispered softly.

"Well that's a whole other story Freckles" he said, his tone know filled with an empty hollow feeling. "Besides, you don't look like your dresses just to run down to the store"

"Oh god!" She said remembering "Claire, I need to get back"

"Claire Littleton?" He asked, he had known her from college too. "What's the big rush anyway?" He said, following her up the street.

"Yeah" She said, amazed he had remembered "She's getting married today, to Charlie"

"Charlie Pace?" he said, remembering him too "The crack addict? Wannabe rock star?"

"Yeah" She said, his memory had outdone what she had expected "Except he's not anymore"

"Lots happened since I been gone huh?" Sawyer said.

"It would have" Kate said coolly "Since you've been gone nearly 5 years"

"I'm sorry Kate" he said earnestly"I really am"

"Well your gonna have to save that for another day" She said "Right now her and Shannon will be wondering where I am, I better get back"

"I can talk to you soon though Freckles?" He asked hopefully.

Kate wanted to say no, to cause him pain for all the pain he had caused her, but she couldn't "Maybe" She said softly. "I still live at your place" She said sheepishly.

"That's ok Freckles" He smiled "That's why I gave it ya, ill come and find ya soon ok?"

"Ok" She replied, before running back home.

* * *

**_Please review?_**


	5. Friends

"Where have you been Kate!" Claire shouted from the front room.

"She was going to send out a search party" Shannon laughed as Kate walked into the room.

"Kate are you ok?" Claire said worried, apparently Kate still wore a scared, confused and hurt look on her face.

"Yeah, I think" She said "I ran into someone that I didn't really expect to see"

"Who?" Claire asked.

"Sawyer" Kate replied, watching the look of shock creep across Claire's face too.

"From College?" Claire said.

"Yeah, apart from I knew him nearly all my life" Kate said, as Claire had only known Kate since college, she didn't know their history.

"How long has I been like, five years?" Claire said, the shock still sinking in.

"Yeah" Kate barely whispered.

"Who's this?" Shannon asked, she had moved over here with her step-brother Boone three years ago, so she didn't know who Sawyer was.

"This guy we used to know" Kate said, playing the whole story dramatically down, Claire knew parts of it, but only Kate knew the full story of love and hurt he had caused. "He left on day like that and we never saw him again. That's why I was so late Claire i'm sorry, I was so shocked to see him it brought memories back and I only realised where I had to be when he asked me why I had this dress on"

"Its ok Kate" Claire said soothingly, although Kate had never told her, Claire had always suspected that Kate and Sawyer loved each other, and after the day he left she had known for sure by how sad Kate had been.

"Lets get on with the show" Kate smiled brightly and began to help Shannon fix Claire's hair.

In a little more than two hours all three girls had their hair done and make up on. Each one looked stunning. Claire and Shannon had completely forgotten about Kate's meeting with Sawyer, but Kate certainly hadn't.

Why did he have to steam back into her life now? Just last night she had told Claire and Shannon that she thought she loved Jack, and that had been true, but now it was all different, for ages after Sawyer had left her she couldn't bring herself to love anyone again, but now she felt herself finally falling for Jack, and he rolled back into her life. Kate had never forgotten her love for Sawyer, she never could and she doubted she ever would, but finally she had just managed to bury it into her past and move on, she had nearly fallen for someone else and then he had just stormed back into her life, dragging all the feelings he had made her experience all those years before rise in her again, the love still stayed in her strong, but so did the pain, the wounds that falling for Jack and helped close where no being re-opened, pouring with the pain as fresh as they had when they where first made.

Why was it that when Kate's life finally seemed to be going right, everything turned upside down?


	6. Arguemants & Accidents

**_Just to remind everyone, this isnt my best writing I wrote it a few months back when I first found out about the competion in the forum I'm writing this for, anyhow its done now and I hope you can still enjoy it!_**

* * *

The car pulled up outside the church right on time and Claire walked down the isle beautifully followed gracefully by Kate and Shannon. Charlie was waiting for her at the end, with his best man Liam and Jack holding Aaron. The service was beautiful, but the whole time Kate's mind was somewhere else, it was on Sawyer.

It was so typical of him to turn up when her life had sorted its self out, when she was nearly in love, when she had almost moved on. Kate decided that she just couldn't let him control her life like this, she was settled now, she was going to keep it that way. She wasn't going to give Sawyer the power to tip her world upside down, that's what her mind told her, but her heart ached for something different.

"Throw the flowers!" Shannon shouted to Claire as her and Charlie came out of the church as man and wife, the air was full of cheers and whistles.

"You can't catch them Shan!" One of the girls shouted "You're already married"

"How could I forget?" She replied, smiling at Sayid who was stood over with Jack.

Claire smiled and turned to face away from the now large crowd of women that where gathered around her, she closed her eyes and threw the bouquet of flowers in the air behind her.

Kate jumped into the air with all the other girls and to her surprise the flowers landed in her arms.

"OOOOOOO" The girls whistled happily.

"So who's it gonna be?" Shannon asked giggly, and Kate responded with an embarrassed shrug.

When the service had finished they all headed to the reception. Charlie's brother Liam had given the funniest speech Kate had ever heard, and after watching a beautiful first dance between Charlie and Claire, the dance floor was now open to everyone.

"Hey Kate" Jack said, approaching her on the dance floor.

"Hey" She said, trying to make her heart force a smile.

"So, you got the flowers huh?" He joked pathetically.

"Yep" She replied. "You want a drink?" she asked, trying to change the subject.

"I'd love one, but I cant" He said "I'm on call"

"Ah, thought you had the day off?" She said.

"Turns out Dr. Smith has gone down with the flu" He said.

"Well its still good you could come" Kate said.

"Yeah. So…" Jack said, trying to master up some courage "I was wondering if you were doing anything at the weekend? If your not we could go out or something…" He trailed off.

"Uh" Kate said, 24 hours ago she would have been the first to say yes, and no doubt would have been very happy, but know there was someone in the back of her mind, he had stayed there bugging her since she had seen him this morning, damn Shannon and those hair pins she thought bitterly to herself. "Ok" She said finally.

"Good" Jack smiled "Ill ring you later ok?"

"Oh wait, I think Shannon wants me" She said, making an excuse to get away, however Shannon was dancing happily with Sayid at the other side of the room, but by the time Jack had realised this Kate had got away.

The party finally came to an end about 10pm and everyone spilled out into the street, Kate had offered to stay and help Shannon, Sayid and Jack clear up so Liam could drive Charlie and Claire to the airport for their honeymoon.

"Want a lift?" Jack asked Kate as they had finished.

"Its ok thanks" She said, and she actually wasn't lying this time "I've got my car just down the road"

"Ok" Jack said, a little disappointed "Catch you later"

"Bye Jack" Kate replied.

Kate finally got out about 11 and was hit by the freezing night air and gave a giant shiver.

"Freckles" She heard a voice behind her say.

Kate whipped around to see Sawyer leant against the wall, how did he know she was here? God, she had to get away, she wasn't going to let herself fall for it. She tried to focus on the pain he had caused her, try and make herself hate him, but as she felt the pain she knew in her heart pain like that could only be caused by love. She turned her back and continued towards her car.

"Hey Freckles, please" he shouted desperately "Please, gimmie a chance to explain"

"Get away from me Sawyer" She said, heading further until her grabbed her arm tightly.

"Ya gonna let me explain" He said, staring at her with those ocean blue eyes, she felt as if he was staring right into her soul "Please, these past 5 years you never left my mind Baby, please just give me a chance"

Kate had always hated people calling her Baby, it had always seemed so cheesy, but when Sawyer called her it in that deep southern accent, it sounded so right. This shouldn't be happening now, she should have gone home with Jack, then she wouldn't have seen him again, she might have been able to get rid of him from her mind again, but deep down Kate knew there was no chance of that.

"You don't deserve a chance Sawyer" She said as she finally gave into the tears that had been brimming at her eyes, she didn't sound angry or mad, just terribly sad and disappointed. Sawyer would have preferred it if she had screamed, shouted, struggled, but this, this Sawyer couldn't stand the sadness in her voice, the pained look on her beautiful features, the tears spurting softly from her eyes "You hurt me so much, you hurt me because… because I loved you, and I never stopped" She said, in a whisper that was barely audible.

Kate suddenly ripped her arm from Sawyer's grasp, she had done what she had told herself not to, she had let him back in, he had only been back in her life for less than a day and he had already broken down the strong wall around her heart that Kate had spent building ever since the day he left, she had been so determined not to let anyone hurt her like that again, but now the person hurting her was the same on as before.

Sawyer watched as Kate ran off into the road, it all happened so fast. A motorbike sped down the road, Kate hadn't been looking properly, her vision had been blurred with the tears, the motorbike going so fast it didn't have time to stop, it smashed into Kate's fragile side, knocking her clean of her feet so she landed in a crumpled heap on the road.

"Kate!" Sawyer screamed his voice full of pain. He ran immediately to her side, her chest was slowly rising and falling, thank god she was alive. "Can you hear me Katie?" He said desperately, clutching onto her hand, it was still warm.

"Oh god" A voice said, it was the motorbike driver "I didn't see her, she just ran out, I tried but she… and then I… so she… god" He stuttered, staring down at Kate's pale body. "I'm sorry"

"Ya stay away from me" Sawyer growled "And her get away ya hear me?"

"Ok sorry" he said, running away he was definitely scared of Sawyer.

Sawyer stared down at Kate, he only noticed that tears had started pouring form his eyes when one splashed down and faded into the blue silk of her dress. He suddenly came to his senses and pulled out his cell phone. He flipped it open and punched in 911 as quick as he could.


	7. Her Name Was Kate

"Hello what service do you require?" An operator answered the phone after what seemed like years.

"Ambulance" He said hoarsely, as rain started to drum down around them. He shrugged of his jacket and wrapped it around Kate's cold body.

"1 moment" The woman said and then there was a click as Sawyer was put through to the ambulance department.

"Could you please tell me where you are and what's happened" A voice said.

"Uh…" Sawyer said looking around him quickly, that was a good point, where the were they? All he knew was that he had followed Kate and the others to the church and then to the reception, thankfully he had not been noticed. "Just outside the 360 club, Warlsaw Avenue." He said, spotting a road sign.

"And what is the problem sir?" She asked.

"There uh… the motorbike" Sawyer said, still struggling to come to terms with what had happened. "She was running away and in the road, the motorbike, knocked her down."

"Is she still breathing?" The woman asked, Sawyer hadn't made that much sense but she was used to calls like this.

"Yeah, but she's unconscious" He said, looking down at her tiny frame covered by his huge coat "Please come, quick please" He begged.

"Try and keep her warm, we will be with you as soon as we can" She said, clicking the phone down.

"Ya hear that Freckles?" he said, grabbing her hand again "There coming for ya, there coming its gonna be alright now, stay with me please" He said, pushing her wet brown curls away from her eyes.

"Please stay with me" He said urgently "Don't you die when I've just found you again, don't you make me loose the only thing I've got left… even if I already lost ya" he added sadly, he had ruined their love by leaving all those years ago, and nothing could make up for it, Sawyer knew that, but he swore with anyone as his witness that he would give everything in his power to try and make it better.

"J…Jack?" Kate said, her eyes fluttering open.

"No its me Sawyer" He said, Jack? Could that be Jack Shepherd, from college? That teachers pet goodie goodie? His unspoken rival for Kate all those years, was she with him now? He couldn't let himself think about that now, he had to stay strong for Kate. "Stay with me, there coming they will be here soon"

Kate's eyes fluttered again, her eyes rolling around in their sockets. They slowly fluttered shut again.

"No Kate!" Sawyer shouted "Wake up! Stay with me, c'mon baby I need ya" He begged desperately.

Sirens whirled loudly from behind him and Sawyer turned round to see the ambulance approaching behind them.

"See their here now, its all gonna be ok" he said "Its all gonna be ok"

"You called the ambulance?" A voice said from behind him, it was a paramedic.

"What does it look like?" He said sarcastically.

"No need to take that tone, how long has she been out?" He asked, squatting down to Kate's side.

"Bout 15 minutes, no thanks to you" Sawyer said "She woke up, but only for about a minute.

"Well were here now" The paramedic said "Eddie, can you get me the body board, were gonna have to lift her."

"Ok" Said another paramedic, obviously called Eddie. He brought the board out and the slid it under Kate. The paramedic Sawyer had talked to fastened a neck brace around Kate's neck.

"Why ya need that?" Sawyer asked.

"She may have neck injuries, we don't want to move them if she has" He replied.

"But the bike hit her legs?" Sawyer said.

"But the fall could have had an impact on her neck." He said, then he saw the look on Sawyers face "Don't worry, its just a precaution."

"Can I stay with her?" Sawyer asked, as the paramedics lifted her into the back of the ambulance.

"Yes of course" The paramedic said "Get in the back with us"

"Thanks" Sawyer said, climbing in.

He watched fearfully as the hooked several things into her and began to check her over, he began to mutter in a very doctorish way that Sawyer couldn't understand as the Ambulance pulled off.

Within 10 minutes they where at the hospital and a group of people had flocked around them, a nurse held Sawyer back and as much as he protested he wouldn't let him follow her.

"Are you family or friend?" She asked him.

"Friend" he said "I hope" he added but she didn't hear him.

"Would you like to wait in the waiting room? Ill come and let you know what's happening soon" She said.

"Ok" he said "Please can I see her?"

"Not now" She said "She will be with the doctors"

"Please come and tell me, please let her be ok" He said, his voice fading to a whisper.

"I'm sure the doctors will do their best" She soothed and she opened the door to the waiting room.

The room was small and empty. Sawyer sat down on one of the chairs but he couldn't stay still for long, he stood up and began to pace around the room.

* * *

Jacks pager bleeped as he sat down on his sofa at home. God, this is all I need he thought as he pulled on a coat and headed for the hospital.

"What's happened Leah?" He said to the nurse who had paged him.

"There's been a road accident, a motorbike knocked over a pedestrian" She explained "We don't know the extent of the damage yet but…" She trailed off.

"Ok" Jack replied "Have you do the x-rays, scans?"

"Yes" She replied "Were just waiting for the results"

"Ok, lets go and have a look" He said.

"Oh yeah, Jack" She said, sadness now crossing her face "They said her name was Kate, Kate Austen."


	8. I'm Gonna Fix You

**_Ok, so I'm only 14, I dont have a clue about any medical what-who's and hows lol, I've tried my best!_**

* * *

"What did you just say?" Jack said horrified.

"I said they think her names Kate Austen" She replied "I thought you knew her, you know the rules about personal ties in surgery Jack"

"Well hopefully it wont go that far" He said, turning to run down the corridor.

When Jack got down there Kate was still unconscious. She looked rough, but still beautiful. He ran to her side quickly.

"What's the situation?" He asked the nurse as calmly as he could.

"She's got a severe fracture to her right leg." She said, reading the x-rays "It looks like two complete snaps in the femur, one in the fibula, and she cracked her knee cap"

"God" Jack said, he knew himself that she would need hours of surgery to reset her leg.

"She also has 3 broken ribs, thankfully the C.A.T scans show no brain damage." The nurse continued.

"Well let me know when she comes round" Jack said, he needed to get ready for her surgery, he was going to do everything he could to save her. "Did anyone come in with her?"

"There was a man" She said "I left him in the waiting room, said he was a friend"

"Thanks" Jack said, leaving the room he wondered who on earth this man could be, she had left the club alone that night.

Jack opened the door to reveal no one other but Sawyer or James Ford as some people knew him, pacing the floor of the waiting room.

"You?" was all Jack could say.

"Well if it aint Jackass" Sawyer said "Finally gotta be the old Dr. Do Right just like ya pa?"

"What are you doing here?" Jack asked, ignoring his comments.

"Is she ok Jack?" Sawyer said, worry flooding his eyes.

"She's still unconscious" Jack said, he didn't need to ask who, he knew Sawyer was asking about Kate "Her legs pretty messed up, she's gonna need a lot of surgery"

"Oh god" Sawyer whispered, sinking into a chair. "Yer gonna sort her out though Doc?" Sawyer said.

"I'm going to try" Jack said, sitting down opposite Sawyer. "Since when where you back around?"

"Since yesterday" he replied "And to answer your real question, I saw Kate again for the first time this morning, we had a talk in the street, she was angry of course." He said, not entirely sure why he was telling Jack "Then I followed her to Claire and Charlie's little do, and waited until she got out. We argued a bit, she ran out into the road and… you know the rest"

"If you touched her" Jack said.

"I wouldn't do that to her Doc" Sawyer said.

Just then a nurse burst into the room "She's awake Doctor"

"Great" Jack said, jumping up.

"I wanna see her" Sawyer said.

"No you cant see her yet" Jack said.

"Yer I can and you cant stop me Doc" He said.

"Sawyer, this isn't college anymore, you cant bully me around, I can have you thrown out. Stay here" Jack commanded.

Sawyer reluctantly sat down, but only because he wanted to still be here if Kate wanted him, not that she thought he would.

Jack walked into the room to see a much perkier Kate, despite the obvious pain of her leg and ribs.

"How are you feeling?" He asked her softly.

"Like a motorbike just ran over my leg" She joked.

"Well i'm afraid to say that's what happened" He laughed back.

"What's the verdict Doctor?" She said "Am I straight for the amputation?"

The conversation was interrupted by a nurse coming into the room.

"Jack, we need you up in surgery. By the way, Kate your surgery is booked in for tomorrow, Jack will tell you about it" She said.

"Thanks" Jack said and Kate nodded.

"So I think you know your having surgery" Jack smiled "I'm going to straighten out the leg and then set it, it will take a while to heal, but it should work"

"What if it doesn't?" She asked him nervously.

"It will" He promised "I'm gonna fix you Kate"

"Thanks Jack" She said as he left the room.

About 5 minutes later Sawyer burst into her room.

"Kate, thank god your ok" He said, running to her side.

"I thought I said I didn't wanna see ya" She said.

"Well, when you ran that fast away from me you ran into the road and got run down by a god damn motorbike, I did have some idea you had better things to do" He joked, and she laughed, the wincing at the pain in her ribs "But ya know me Freckles, I don't give up without a fight."

"But do I know you Sawyer?" She asked "You've been gone for nearly 5 years, people change, feelings change"

"Well I haven't changed, and my feelings certainly haven't" he said truthfully "Just so ya know Freckles, that letter still stands"

He stood up and left the room when a nurse came into check on her. Kate didn't need to ask which letter, she knew it was the one he left her before he went, and looking into his eyes she knew which part still stood.

_I wanted to say that I love you Katie, and I think... no I know, I always will._

She knew those words would stay written in her mind forever, just like they had on the letter, the letter she still kept with her, in a shoe box in her wardrobe. She was never going to get rid of the letter, she had had it so long know it was like a part of her.

Even after all the pain he had caused her there was a part of Kate telling herself that she still loved Sawyer, but she love Jack now didn't she? Or did she? She was just so confused…

* * *

_**Please review:)**_


	9. Past Tears

**_A quick update!_**

**_Bonboni : No, I'm not a doctor, I'm not that old and I wouldnt want to be anyway! All that blood, ew! Anyway, I'm glad the medical stuff was believable!_**

**_Again thanks to SassyLostie & Bonboni for always always reviewing!_**

* * *

The next morning Kate was wheeled into surgery and she hadn't seen Sawyer again since the night before.

"Hey Kate" Jack said as he walked in, pulling white rubber gloves across his hands "You ready?"

"As ill ever be" She replied.

"Don't worry Kate, I've said it before and ill say it again" Jack said firmly "I'm gonna fix you"

"I hope so" Kate said, as the gas the nurse had given her slowly put her to sleep.

Sawyer hadn't left the hospital all night. He had overheard the nurses saying that Kate's operation would be in the morning, he wanted to be here until she got out.

The next morning when Sawyer woke up he realised that he had started to smell really bad. That would have to wait, he would go home and get a shower when he knew Kate was ok.

Jack followed the trolley which Kate was laying on back to her room. The operation had been a success, but only just. It had taken over 5 hours to reset her leg and she would have to stay in the hospital at least a week.

Jack was sat at the end of Kate's bed when she woke up.

"Hey" He said softly.

"Mornin" She replied.

"Not quite" He said pointing to a clock on the wall, it read 6pm.

"But I went in surgery about 9?" She said.

"Yeah, but the surgery took 5 hours and then you were still out because of the gas" He explained "It's the first time you have woken up, how are you feeling?"

"Got a bit of a headache, but that's all really" She said.

"Well that's common after a long surgery, you should be fine soon" Jack smiled, glad there wasn't anything wrong with her.

"So, how long?" She asked, referring to her leg.

"Another week in here I'm afraid" he said "Then you can go home, you will need to keep the weight off it of course, the cast can be removed after another 6 weeks"

"Ok" Kate said, she was just happy to be alive.

"Look, I have to go" Jack said, as his pager began to beep. "Ill come back and see you later ok?"

"Ok, bye Jack" Kate said, leaning back into the warmth of the bed and quickly falling to sleep.

Sawyer had been waiting in the waiting room all day now, he was getting rather annoyed. He saw Jacks figure walk past the door so he jumped out and followed him.

"Doc! Doc!" He shouted "Is she ok?"

"She's fine no thanks to you, things where starting to get better for her, now you come back again and look what's happened" Jack snarled.

"This aint my fault!" Sawyer shouted back.

"So who was she with when it happened Sawyer? Who was she running from?" He replied.

Sawyer didn't answer Jacks question "I wanna see her" He asked instead.

"No" Jack said "She's just recovered from a 5 hour surgery, she doesn't need your stress, in fact she doesn't need you" Jack said "Do you know how long it took me to help her get over her? How many days and nights I spent sat there, just listening to her cry about you?"

_"He's gone" Was all Kate could say over and over again as she cried into Jacks arms. _

"Its gonna be ok" Jack said, it felt like the hundredth time he had said it that night, but he would never stop if it made her feel better, but it didn't seem to.

"I'm never gonna see him again am I?" She said, finally looking up at Jack. Her pale face was tear stained, her hair limp and unwashed. She had hardly eaten or slept since Sawyer left 5 days ago. She hadn't gone out with her friends or even gone to the shops. Jack brought her food and drink to the flat which was once Sawyers, not that she ever used it.

"I don't think so, but you'll always have me" He said soothingly as he could.

_  
"I want him Jack" She said, those words tore Jacks heart apart, but he stayed strong, and hoped, whished that one day she could love him just half as much as she loved Sawyer._

"Look Jack, I never meant ta hurt her" Sawyer said desperately.

"Well you did a pretty good job" Jack said "Get out"

"I'll be back" Sawyer said, but right now he was going home for a shower and a shave.


	10. Memories

**_A short chap this time folks, sorry!_**

* * *

Kate sat in her hospital bed, boredom was setting in hard and it was only the first day. She looked around the room and noticed a small radio on the side. She reached across for it but it was ever so slightly out of her reach.

She considered pressing the nurse help button but she didn't want to, she didn't like to lean on people, she liked to be independent and the more she realised what had happened to her she was going to loose the independence she loved.

She noticed a coat hanger on the side of her bed and used it to pull the radio towards her. She just managed to grab it before it fell to the floor and switched it on.

_Don't leave me in all this pain_

_Don't leave me out in the rain_

_Come back and bring back my smile_

_Come and take these tears away_

_I need your arms to hold me now_

_The nights are so unkind_

_Bring back those nights when I held you beside me_

_Un-break my heart_

_Say you'll love me again_

_Un-do this hurt you caused_

_When you walked out the door_

_And walked outta my life_

_Un-cry these tears_

_I cried so many nights_

_Un-break my heart, my heart_

Kate swallowed a lump in her throat as the song echoed in the room. The words where so raw, so true to how she felt about Sawyer. She tried to make her hands move to the switch on the radio but her brainwaves wouldn't move down to her hands, the lay on the bed beside the radio unmoving.

_Take back that sad word good-bye_

_Bring back the joy to my life_

_Don't leave me here with these tears_

_Come and kiss this pain away_

_I can't forget the day you left_

_Time is so unkind_

_And life is so cruel without you here beside me_

_Ohh, oh_

_Don't leave me in all this pain_

_Don't leave me out in the rain_

_Bring back the nights when I held you beside me_

_Ohh, oh_

_Don't leave me in all this pain_

_Don't leave me out in the rain_

_Bring back the nights when I held you beside me_

_Un-break my_

_Un-break my heart, oh baby_

_Come back and say you love me_

_Un-break my heart_

_Sweet darlin'_

_Without you I just can't go on_

_Can't go on_

When the song had finished Kate was blinking back tears as the song made her relive some of her worst memories, the first days when Sawyer had left. Her hand suddenly snapped into life turning the radio off as soon as the song ended leaving her in a deafening silence. But that silence didn't stay for long, it was soon filled as her tears broke into sobs.

* * *

**_Please review!_**


	11. He Returns Once More

**_I just can't resist my skate..._**

* * *

Kate stayed in hospital for the rest of the week, everyday she wished Sawyer would come and see her again, but he didn't. Jack on the other hand came to see her everyday. She thought about asking him if Sawyer had been, but decided against it, she didn't know if he knew she had seen him, let alone if he knew Sawyer was back. She told herself he had moved on again, just got up and left like he did those 5 years ago.

So every time for him, but Jack came to see her she looked into his eyes and tried to feel something, anything her heart came to a blank. And every night when she went to sleep it wasn't Jacks eyes she saw, it was Sawyers ocean blue ones, eyes that could make her weak at the knees, warm her to the tips of her fingers and the ends of her toes.

And on the last day before she was discharged she was connected with those electrifying eyes again.

"Freckles" He said when he walked into the room. "You ok?"

"Fine" She said "Why have you bothered Sawyer?"

"What?" He asked.

"Why have you bothered coming?" Kate said "You haven't bothered for the last week" She added sadly.

"I have" He said truthfully "I just didn't get this far"

_It was the third time that week Sawyer had come to the hospital, and today he only got as far as reception. _

"Go away Sawyer" Jack said angrily.

"No I aint going no where" Sawyer said.

"_Sawyer she doesn't want you here" Jack lied "Just go home and do her a favour, don't come back" _

"Well maybe I don't wanna give up yet Doc" Sawyer said.

"She doesn't want to see you Sawyer, she doesn't want you around her" Jack lied even more.

"Yeah? Well maybe I just wanna hear her say that" he said, trying to push past Jack.

"Get out Sawyer, and leave Kate alone" He said, pushing Sawyer back.

Once again Sawyer left and he came back every single day for the next week. This morning he had finally got in without Jack, or any of his work buddies noticing him.

_He ran as quickly as he could to the ward Kate was on before, just hoping and praying she was still there. He dodged nurses and doctors and got several filthy looks, but all that didn't matter, he just needed to see Kate again._

"Everyday i've tried ta come and see ya" Sawyer continued "Ya don't know how much its been killin me, knowing ya were up here and I couldn't come and see ya… its all thanks to your little pal Jacko" He added bitterly.

"You've seen Jack?" Kate asked.

"Yeah briefly, kinda saw his face between the middle of the 2 guards he got to chuck me outta here everyday." Sawyer said, disbelief on Kate's face.

"He wouldn't" She whispered.

"Oh yer he would Sweet Cheeks" Sawyer confirmed "He also said that ya didn't want ta see me again, I should get out of ya life, but I aint giving up without a fight. All ya need to do is tell me Freckles" He said, tears now coming to his eyes "Just tell me ya don't wanna see me anymore, and ill go, leave you and the good old doc to it"

"I never said that" Kate said shocked. First of all Jack had seen Sawyer and not told her, secondly he had lied and told Sawyer she didn't want to see him, when in fact that was all she wanted in the world. But before she gave up on this she had to know why.

"Why Sawyer?" Kate said, her tone mousy and quiet.

Sawyer didn't need to ask why what, he already knew. She wanted to know why he had left her, those 5 years ago. Those 5 years that had torn him up inside not being able to see her beautiful face, hear he wonderful laugh. It was like 10 thousand hot pokers being stabbed through his heart every time he saw a couple laughing, kissing or even talking. Because all he wanted was for that couple to be him and his Freckles.

"Well it's a long story" He said, he had always known he would have to tell her one day.

"I'm not going anywhere" She laughed weakly, pointing at her leg.

"Ok then Freckles" Sawyer said carefully "If ya really wanna know, I'll tell ya…"

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**_Bit of a cliffhanger huh?? Review :)_**


	12. Explanations

"Ya know everything about me Freckles, you were my best friend" He said softly "So that means ya know about what happened to me when I was 8…"

"Yeah" She said softly, when Sawyer was 8 his mum had been having an affair with a con, he stole all their money and his dad found out. Worst of all his dad shot his mom and then shot himself, right while Sawyer was hiding under the bed.

"Well there is one tiny detail yer don't know" He said softly "Ya know my real names James right?"

"Yeah, since I knew you before you started calling yourself Sawyer" She said, she had always wondered why, but she just figured if he was giving nicknames to everyone else he wanted one himself.

"Well it was_ him_" Sawyer said, and straight away Kate knew who he was talking about, the man who conned his parents, the man who ruined his life was called Sawyer.

"Why then…" Kate said in shock, why would you want to be reminded of that name everyday?

"I took on that name, cause I never wanted to forget who he was and what he did to me" He said "Ya remember I told ya I was gonna find him one day, and give him what he deserved? The day I took his name…"

"Yeah" Kate whispered, it had been one of the worst days of her life.

_Sawyer and Kate had now turned 17 years old. They would be going to college next term, and thankfully they had got into the same one. But today was a hard day. It was the 9th anniversary of Sawyers parents' death. _

"I'm gonna find him" Sawyer had said bitterly "I'm gonna find him and show him what he did to me… and then i'm gonna kill him"

_Kate was shocked, how could he say something like that? Her best friend planning murder. _

"No you wont James" She said, that was still his name back then.

"Ya cant stop me Freckles" He replied.

"I know I cant" She had said "But please don't, promise me you wont James, please"

"I cant promise ya anything Katie" He had said "And James aint my name no more. Call me Sawyer" He had said.

Kate didn't know who Sawyer was at the time, she didn't know that he was the man who ruined Sawyers life, if she had done, she would have never begun to call him that. She had figured that after giving everyone around him a nickname, he wanted one too.

"Ok, Sawyer" She said softly, trying the name out. Sawyer burned at the sound of the name, his Freckles calling him that, but she had too, because everyday she called him that, everyday he would never forget what he was going to do to that man, the man who ruined his life. He was going to make him hurt just as much as he had been hurting…

"Well I know ya didn't want me too but…" Sawyer trailed off, and then it hit Kate. He, James, Sawyer whatever his name was now, her best friend, the man she loved had killed a man.

"You… killed him?" She said, whispering the last two words.

"That's the irony ya see Sassafras" Sawyer said "5 years of tracking someone like that down, you meet some pretty dodgy people. I met this guy, Hibbs he had he'd help me find this Sawyer, if I helped him back" Sawyer said, Kate could see trouble clouding his features, she knew this wasn't an easy story for him to tell "The help he wanted was money, I had to find a pretty lady, romance her, convince her dumb husband and take all the money… I became him, Katie, I became the man I was searching for, and I hate it"

"Oh god" Kate whispered, so quietly he didn't hear her. She had known how much Sawyer hated con men after that, and he must have been really desperate for revenge to become one of them.

"That aint it" Sawyer continued "Hibbs tells me one day, found him, found the man you've been looking for, found Sawyer. Told me he was down under, gave me a file on him, easy as hell to find when ya had the info" Sawyer said bitterly "Anyway, I found him, and I shot him Katie, right there in front of me, I shot a man. Then I started to tell him what he had caused in my life, the pain, the hurt… I called him Sawyer, the guys says who? So I'm thinking he's just messing me around I carries on so the guy says, he's getting pretty out of it by this time, he says, what the hell are you talking about? He says you didn't have to, then he says tell Hibbs. Then I knew it was wrong, I knew he wasn't Sawyer" He said bitterness anger and even sadness in his voice "He says I would paid him back, tell him I would paid him back. I didn't know what the hell was happening, all I knew was I'd just shot a man who didn't deserve it. Then he says to me you don't know what you doing do you? And the truth was I didn't. Then just before he dies he says, it'll come back around."

Kate and Sawyer sat in complete silence, Kate in complete shock of what she had just been told.

"I didn't tell yer I was going cause I knew ya would hate me" Sawyer said eventually "He said it would come back around, and I suppose now, it has, cause i've lost you forever, yer the first person I've told, and now ya hate me"

"I don't hate you" She said slowly, even thought he had done all of this, Kate could never hate him, she could never dislike him… she could only love him. "I love you too much for that"

"I love you too Katie" Sawyer said hoarsely, they leaned slowly together and joined in a passionate kiss, a kiss that showed love, longing and all those years of waiting, a kiss that was definitely worth the five year wait.

But that kiss was broken early by Jack storming into the room.

"What the hell is going on here?!" He shouted as the pair broke apart.

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_**Hope that hit the spot! Please review!**_


	13. This Is The Thanks I Get?

"Well I think something tells me ya were wrong Jacko" Sawyer said using sarcasm as he was at a lack of anything else to say "Looks like Freckles did wanna see me again, and more"

"Shut up Sawyer!" Kate said quickly, Jack was a friend he didn't deserve to be hurt like this, even if… even if she loved Sawyer. "Jack I…" She started.

"Don't even say anything Kate!" Jack shouted angrily "You are meant to be with _me_ now, not _him_" He spat his voice particularly harsh on the last word.

"Don't talk ta her like that" Sawyer said protectively rising from his seat.

"Your meant to be with me!" Jack continued ignoring Sawyer. "And you would be if he hadn't come along! You now you would"

"Yeah well lucky for her I did come along" Sawyer quipped.

Kate just watched in horror as Jack snapped and slung his fist into Sawyer's face catching the southerner of guard and knocking him to the floor.

"Sawyer!" She shouted.

"That wasn't a wise move Doc" Sawyer spat wiping blood from his nose.

"Ill have you removed from this hospital if you touch me" Jack said sternly.

"You ok if I wait outside Freckles?" Sawyer asked after giving Jack a look that would have murdered him 10 times over if only looks could kill.

"Y… yeah" She said in shock of what had just happened.

"Just shout if ya need me" Sawyer said giving Jack one last glare before he left the room.

"Jack…" Kate said a mix of emotions in her voice, sympathy and sadness for how he must have felt to see her kissing Sawyer, apology for kissing Sawyer, shock and anger at how Jack had just punched Sawyer.

"No Kate" Jack said now much calmer "How many nights did I sit and just hold you cry about him, how many days did I spend listening to how he broke your heart, and now your taking him back? I fixed you heart, and now I fixed you, I got in here and I did your operation, i've been with you these past 5 years while he's been god knows where, and this is the thanks I get?"

"He had his reasons" Kate said, suddenly feeling a need to defend Sawyer.

"Yeah well I have reasons too, reasons why I helped you all those years, because I loved you Kate, I love you" Jack said, his voice now sad and somewhat pitiful "After all I've done for you, I deserve you, he doesn't"

"Jack, I'm not a possession you cant deserve me or earn me" Kate said coolly "I thank you for all you have done, I really do, but I love him… I love Sawyer" She said admitting her feelings out loud for the first time for five whole years, those last three words the words she had sworn never to say again words which now slipped out so easily.

Jack just looked at Kate and he knew, he knew that he wasn't what she wanted it hurt him badly and it hurt even worse knowing the man she wanted was Sawyer, but he finally admitted what after all these years he had sub-consciously known that he couldn't change her feelings however hard he tried.

"Bye Kate" Was all Jack could say as he took one last look at her now with a tear rolling down her face, matching the one rolling down his before he left the room.

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_**How was that? If its rubbish, sorry, I did write this fic around 2 months ago, Im just updating when I update my other fics!**_


	14. All I Need To Know

_**The last chap!! Woot! **_

* * *

Sawyer looked up as Jack stormed out of the room, Sawyer could see tears in his eyes. Well good, Sawyer thought, the Jackass probably deserves it.

"I hope your happy" Jack said his tone had now lost its anger which had just been replaced by raw defeat.

"I am thanks Doc" Sawyer said "I'd say the same for you but to be honest, I don't really care" He smirked.

"You ever do anything to hurt her again" Jack said "If you ever hurt her like you did before, ill come after you Sawyer"

"Oooo I'm scared!" Sawyer said sarcastically, but then he became serious "Honestly Doc, I could never hurt her like that again cause it hurt me just as much too"

"I doubt it" Jack said calmly before walking off leaving Sawyer in the corridor alone, but Sawyer didn't stay there for long, he went straight back into Kate's room.

Kate was sat on the bed crying, her tears falling thick and fast.

"You ok Freckles?" Sawyer said once he was at her side.

"I'm fine" She sniffed looking up into his ocean blue eyes, eyes that could tell her so many stories, teach her so much about herself that she never knew, and when she looked into those eyes, she knew she loved him. "I love you Sawyer" She whispered.

"I love you too Baby" He said stroking her face "I love you so much… so much that every second i'm not with you it hurts…"

"Take me home Sawyer" She said, looking up at him with nothing but love and hope in her gorgeous green eyes.

Sawyer didn't say anything, he didn't need too. He knew exactly what he was meant to do, he knew where home was, it was the place they would now live in, live in together. He knew that she wanted it just as much as he did, anyone could tell that by looking into their love filled eyes. The wheelchair she had been pushed around in before sat forgotten as Sawyer scooped Kate off the bed into his arms and carried her out of the room to take her to his car, to take her home. And he knew from that moment, that from now on their lives where going to be just fine.

_Look at this face_

_I know the years are showin'_

_Look at this life_

_I still don't know where it's goin'_

_I don't know much_

_But I know I love you_

_And that may be_

_All I need to know_

_Look at these eyes_

_They never seen what mattered_

_Look at these dreams_

_So beaten and so battered,_

_I don't know much_

_But I know I love you_

_And that may be_

_All I need to know_

_So many questions_

_Still left unanswered_

_So much_

_I've never broken through_

_And when I feel you near me_

_Sometimes I see so clearly_

_The only truth I've ever known_

_Is me and you_

_Look at this man_

_So blessed with inspiration_

_Look at this soul_

_Still searching for salvation_

_I don't know much_

_But I know I love you_

_And that may be_

_All I need to know_

_I don't know much_

_But I know I love you_

_That may be_

_All I need to know_

_I don't know much_

_But I know I love you_

_That may be_

_All there is to know

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**I thought I'd end it with a song :) **_

**How was that for everyone, did you enjoy it? Or didnt you? Let me know, please review!**

**A HUGE Thank you to SassyLostie and Bonboni for the reviews on this fic, you all get a shiny-skate sticker XD**


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